It’s always appropriate etiquette to give your shower or party hostess a thank you gift for planning and hosting. Here are great ideas to give your party hostess:
Do you take commissions or kick-backs from vendors?
To really compare pricing, ask potential planners if they mark up vendor prices. You may be paying $3000 for a wedding planner but not realize she marks up all your vendor proposals by 10-20%. If it is important to you that your planner doesn’t take commissions, make sure it is in your contract with the planner and ask to see the original proposals from your vendors. Also, keep in mind that you are paying for their design talent and style. A planning company with a fantastic portfolio of well styled weddings is going to charge more than a planning company focused on logistics and time lines.
Do I have contact with any of my vendors during the planning process?
You may want to be really involved in the planning and be able to contact your vendors directly if you have a question. Or, you may want your planner to always be the point of contact. Either way is just fine but you need to know what your wedding planner prefers so there aren’t any surprises. You also want to know if your planner will attend all of your vendor consultations or if she just gives you recommendations.
How many weddings and events do you personally do per year?
This is going to really clue you in on the level of service you are going to receive. If your planner personally does 40 weddings per year, you are not going to receive the level of commitment and service of someone who only takes 15-20 per year. If your wedding planner is working every single weekend in the summer, how excited and dedicated is she going to be at those last few weddings of the summer?
In case you missed these previous posts, here are a few great wedding planning tips:
Wedding Planning 101 - The Very Basics
For months, wedding planning nearly consumed you. After you have returned from the honeymoon, you may also experience confusing feelings of depression even though life with your new spouse seems to be going well. Welcome to the post-wedding blues. While this doesn’t affect every bride, you may be surprised to learn that post-wedding blues are common for brides and even for mothers of the bride, especially if the mother was heavily involved in planning the wedding.
Here are a few tips to get you past the post-wedding blues:
1. Realize you’ve been through an intense period where the focus has been on romance. You are now in normal life mode, but that doesn’t mean romance has to end. Plan a romantic evening with your new spouse, perhaps for your first month anniversary. A nice dinner, along with a good bottle of wine or champagne, candles and your favorite music complete the mood. Thaw your wedding cake top to enjoy that evening. Or, arrange a weekend getaway.
2. Throw a post-wedding BBQ or cocktail party for immediate family members and close friends when your wedding pictures and video are ready. Show the video and hand out photos from the wedding. Relive some of those fabulous memories of the wedding day.
3. Scrapbook your wedding memories. Now that you have so much time on your hands, create a scrapbook of your wedding including pictures, an invitation, your place cards, table cards and other sentimental details from the planning process and wedding day.
4. It’s normal to feel some sadness or light depression for the first few weeks after your wedding and honeymoon. The key to getting over a post wedding letdown is to talk about your feelings with friends and family or with a professional counselor.
This isn’t a task to be taken lightly. You may want to consider writing your own wedding vows or even your whole wedding ceremony. Here are a few great websites to help you get started:
20 Tips from the Knot.com for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
Photo Credit: Karie Mclain Photography
Aside from the fabulous flowers, great food and other wedding details, we don’t want to forget one of the most important aspects of the wedding, the marriage license.
A Colorado marriage license may be issued in any county and used in any county in the State of Colorado. However, the license must be used within 30 days from the date of issue. The license is issued the day it is applied for and may be used immediately. The fee for a marriage license is $30 and must be paid with cash.
Both male and female applicants must appear in person to complete and sign the marriage application. If one party cannot appear due to illness, is out of state, or incarcerated, he or she must obtain an ABSENTEE APPLICATION from the Clerk and Recorder’s office. The party applying must bring the absentee application along with identification for the absent party. Applicants need not be residents of Colorado. ABSENTEE APPLICATIONS MUST BE NOTARIZED.
If either party has finalized a divorce within 30 days of applying for the marriage license, the final decree must be produced. This decree must be signed by the judge or court referee. If the divorce has been final more than 30 days, divorce information must be given regarding date of divorce, place of divorce and court in which the divorce was finalized.
A marriage may be solemnized by a judge of a court of record, a public official whose powers include solemnization of marriages, or in accordance with any mode of solemnization recognized by any religious denomination or Indian nation or tribe. As of August 1993, a couple can solemnize their own marriage without any type of officiant. That’s right, you can perform your own wedding ceremony without an officiant in Colorado and it is legal.
What’s the difference between seating cards and a seating chart for your wedding? Does it matter?
First, ask yourself a series of question to help determine what your best option is:
Are you serving a plated meal with various selections for your guests to choose from?
If so, steer clear of the seating chart because you’ll need to distinguish their selections on the seating card for the servers or catering staff. A special ribbon color, paper color or other marking on the seating card is a simple way to show the guest’s dinner choice.
Do you have limited seating, or the exact number of tables you’ll need for your guests?
If so, you’ll need to consider some kind of table chart or seating cards because your wedding guests will usually leave a seat or two open at their tables and that can’t happen if you are limited.
Are you only reserving a few tables for your guests?
While we don’t recommend this option, some brides and grooms don’t want to deal with seating details. If you have open seating, you want to make sure your parents and grandparents sit closest to you which means you will need to have a few reserved signs at those tables in advance. It is also important to reserve a table or two for your bridal party and their guests.
There are other questions and circumstances for seating cards vs a seating chart but these are a few of the most important considerations.
You will have many emotional ups and downs, moments of insanity and will sometimes second guess your decisions during the planning process. It is so important that you choose wedding vendors who will be by your side and ease your fears along the way. You don’t need to best friends with your vendors but you should have good chemistry with them and mesh well with their temperament. Don’t feel guilty if someone looks great on paper and you love their work but don’t feel like your personalities work well together. For example, if you are a shy person, especially in front of a camera, you need a photographer who can bring out your personality and make you feel comfortable. A Denver wedding photographer with a shy personality is not going to be a good fit for you no matter how good his work is.
I encourage clients to choose the vendors they feel completely comfortable with and who they trust 100% to do the best job for them. Many of us would much rather have a potential client turn down our services from the very beginning than to spend months and months in a relationship with a couple who doesn’t trust us.
Debbie Orwat
Denver wedding planner
BIG congratulations to the couples who just got engaged! Here are your top to-do’s (after you call every person you know to spread the good news):
1. Hire your wedding planner - this should be you first step. An experienced wedding planner is a huge asset while you are looking at venues. Decor ideas, logistics and price crunching by an experienced professional will help you find the venue that best fits your style, budget and your vision. At Save the Date Events, we have visited or worked at over 200 venues in Colorado. We tour venues every month to keep the most current venue database for our clients.
2. Decide on the date or month of your wedding - If you are set on a particular date and it is a Saturday in May-September, you will have a more difficult time finding the perfect venue that isn’t already booked. If you have some flexibility with the date, you will have more options available to you.
3. Budget - If you will be working within a certain budget, determine the overall estimate before looking at venues.
4. Get your venue booked - Unfortunately, you aren’t the only couple looking for a wedding venue right now. Over 5000 couples who just got engaged last month will be looking at venues in Colorado in the next few months.
We would love the opportunity to meet with you, hear about your wedding ideas and see how we might be able to assist in creating your dream wedding day. Give us a call today!
Where to register for your wedding?
If you never cook but both of you love to camp, it makes more sense to register at REI instead of a traditional registry. It is perfectly acceptable to register at two or three stores or online registries. This allows more choices for your guests.
What do we register for?
The two of you should discuss what types of gifts you will both enjoy. Decide what you need and talk about the style of home you’d both like. Be sure to register for items in a range of prices so that your guests can choose gifts within their means.
How do we let our guests know where we registered?
Word of mouth or on your wedding webpage are both acceptable. It is not appropriate to include registry information with your wedding invitations. However, it can be listed with your bridal shower invitations.
Do we need to keep track of our registries?
Yes, absolutely. Most gifts are purchased between two weeks before and two weeks after your wedding. Be sure to check your registry occasionally and add additional items if necessary. You want to be sure your guests have enough options.
•What are your exchange and cancellation policies?
•Are any alterations included in the cost of the gown?
•Can I get a price list or estimate for possible alterations?
•What brand and designer lines do you carry?
•After my gown is ordered, how long will it take for it to come in?
•Will you store the gown until the wedding day if necessary?
•Will the gown be steamed/pressed when I pick it up?
•What are your deposit and payment policies?
•How long have you been in business?
•Do you offer a discount if my bridesmaid dresses are also ordered from you?
Debbie Orwat,
Colorado Wedding Consultant
Here is a recap of a few of our top posts from Save the Date Events, your Denver wedding planners.
Wedding and Tents at Private Estates
Avoiding the Post Wedding Blues
Q: Whose name/initial goes first?
A: The bride’s name is first. The woman’s name/initial always comes first on a monogram because the man’s first name/initial should never be separated from his last name/initial.
Q: When can we start using our married monogram?
A: Follow these simple rules:
Before the wedding ceremony: It is not appropriate to use your married monogram before you’re actually married. So that means using a monogram with your new last name or initial on save-the-dates, invitations, thank you notes, etc. is taboo. Instead, use a monogram that has just your first initials or first names.
During the wedding ceremony: This is still a gray area for some, but I say if you want to use your married monogram, go for it. The wedding ceremony is a perfect time to begin using your new monogram on anything from aisle runners, unity candles, programs, etc.
After the wedding ceremony: Use your married monogram on anything you wish. The reception is a complete green light to display your new married monogram proudly whether it is on the table runner, menus, cake or on the dance floor.
Aside from all the fabulous Colorado weddings we get to plan, we occasionally design and plan baby showers, bridal showers and bridesmaid brunches in Colorado. This baby shower was themed for a boy with simple whimsical zoo animals. We incorporated chocolate brown, baby blue and orange throughout all the details including the salad bar vases. The blue punch and matching cake from Lovely Confections completed the fun details for this Boulder baby shower.
1. How much is the wedding reception costing you?
2. Can you make sure not to set your date for [insert date here] — I have a vacation already planned!
3. What table am I sitting at?
4. Why didn’t you invite [insert name here]?
5. Is this really a “white wedding”?
6. How many carats is that ring anyway?
7. Who’s your favorite bridesmaid?
8. Did you get that idea from my wedding?
9. Are you paying for any of this?
10. Don’t you think the six-tiered wedding cake is a bit much?
Thanks to the Knot for this entertaining post.
Last year, we had the privilege of meeting Emilie Duncan, a fabulous wedding planner in Columbus Ohio. She recently polled vendors across the country and wrote a fantastic blog series about what wedding vendors wish their brides knew. Here are the links to Emilie’s great blog posts:
What your photographer wishes you knew - Part one and Part Two
What your videographer wishes you knew
What your florist wishes you knew
What your stationer wishes you knew
What your planner wishes you knew
What your DJ wishes you knew
Debbie Orwat
Denver wedding coordinator
1. Can the bride wear white again? Absolutely. The wedding is all about what the bride and groom want. There are no set etiquette rules for what the bride wears for her second wedding.
2. Should the ex-spouse be notified? Yes, it is common courtesy to let him or her know as soon as possible, especially if children are involved.
3. Is it okay to register for gifts? Yes. Every new marriage represents a fresh start and guests will want to give the couple a proper gift.
4. Should children be involved in the wedding planning process? Yes, if possible. Involving the children will allow them a chance to speak up about aspects of the ceremony or reception that may make them feel uncomfortable. It also allows them to warm up to the situation over time.
“Why does he think we should be married in New Jersey just because we live here? We need to be in South Carolina with my family. His relatives can fly in from Ohio.”
You’re spending big bucks on your dress; he wants to spend some of that cash to go to Bora Bora on the honeymoon.
Do these sound familiar? The Knot has a great article with tips to diffuse these common arguments that sometimes occur during the wedding planning process. You can read it here.
Some brides are very informed about the wedding market and have been to many weddings in recent years. Other brides may have been to only one or two weddings and are not familiar with some of the basic elements of planning and the wedding day. For those brides who haven’t been to many weddings, here are a few very basic planning details to help you plan your Colorado wedding.
Save the Date Cards - These informal announcements precede the wedding invitations by 4-12 months. They let your guests know when and where your wedding is so they can “Save the Date” for it. You still send out your formal wedding invitations 6-8 weeks prior to your wedding in addition to save the date cards.
First Step in the Process - Before you start meeting with photographers or florists, find and book your ceremony and reception venues. The first question other vendors will ask you is the date and location of your wedding.
Wedding Registries - The proper etiquette is for your registry information to be communicated by word of mouth, on your bridal shower invitations and on your wedding website. It is not proper to include any registry information with your wedding invitations or save the dates.
Escort Cards & Place Cards - Escort cards (or seating cards) let your guests know where they are sitting. Your guests will choose their card from the table or other creative display, and it escorts them to their seat. Place cards are actually at each person’s place at the table and denotes to them exactly where a guest is sitting at their previously assigned table. Seating cards can be used without place cards if you choose to assign the table and not the actual seat, but place cards usually cannot be used without seating cards
Debbie Orwat
Colorado Wedding Planner
Save the Date Events is a Denver, Colorado wedding planning and design firm. We offer exceptional award winning professional consulting and design service for Denver weddings, Aspen weddings, Vail weddings, Beaver Creek weddings, Breckenridge weddings, Boulder weddings and beyond. Save the Date Events | 4500 West 38th Avenue, Suite 100 | Denver, Colorado 80212. 303.550.9261.
