I recently moved to Denver from a small town, where a couple invites close friends and family, not friend+date. Here, it is different. People who attend weddings are assumed to need the security of a partner in order to comfortably celebrate the event. And this person is often a stranger to the bride and groom. My fiancee and I just got engaged but are in a disagreement about this – I do NOT want strangers at my wedding, and he is perfectly okay with it. I consider a wedding as something intimate and private and also very special. How can I get around this trend without seeming rude?
Sincerely, Frustrated Bride
Dear Frustrated Bride,
I understand the desire to keep such a special day close to your heart (and family/friend circle!) My general suggestion is to ask yourself if you know the surname of the individual that your guest wants to bring as a date. If the pair have been dating and you have formed a relationship with the other person, it would be considerate to invite them on behalf of your guest. However, guests who are reading this should never assume that a wedding invitation addressed to you as an individual is actually a ticket-for-two unless specifically spelled out that way. Lastly, for any guests who inquire about bringing an unknown date, you may say “We are only inviting people we know to the wedding, but would love to meet her another time…” Sincere. To the point.